So cold, so very very cold

We spent the New Year period in Manchester and were happily telling everyone that it was actually warmer in Finland than in Manchester. And it was true. When we left Helsinki it was +2 or something and -2 in Manchester. That has changed. When we left Manchester it was still -2, but in Helsinki it was -11. And that's very cold.

I'm sure that you've all noticed that your nose runs in cold weather. I'm guessing that it's from condensation on the nose hairs. Wherever it comes from, whatever runs will freeze. And so it was on my walk to school yesterday that I noticed that there were suddenly lumps forming in my nostrils as the condensation froze. It was quite unsettling, but strangely quite pleasant.

But that isn't something I will need to worry about for much longer. On my way home it was -8, which after -11 was starting to feel like t-shirt weather. Nonetheless, it felt like my face was about to fall off. If it gets much colder then it probably will fall off and it's hard for a nose to freeze when it's not attached anymore.

About halfway through my trip to Manchester, I was starting to feel homesick. I was quite surprised when I realised that Home for me now means Tampere, as that was where I wanted to be. So I guess that it means that I'm becoming quite settled here in Finland. When we did get home a couple of days later, I quite enjoyed looking out of the window and seeing the familiar view. Of course it's possible that I wanted to be in Finland because the houses are warmer than in England. But then I suppose that if it gets to be -20 in winter you need better insulation!

Anyway, I'm off to eat some cheese and Branston sandwiches followed by a slice of Marks & Spencer Christmas cake and a cup of tea. It's good to be back in Finland.

Bringing warmth into people’s hearts and homes for 28 years.

Listening to homeless people sing Christmas carol’s on half empty subway cars should really be a fun activity for all. But to my disappointment the last guy I was stuck listening to didn’t even know the words. All he knew was “O Christmas Tree” and everything else was filled in with “La La La’s”. One would think it would be better to stick to a song you actually know and let’s face it; O Christmas Tree is kind of a drag of a song anyway. A veteran carol singer like me doesn’t even know all the words to that one. But perhaps calling me a carol veteran is going to far, the last time I was shanghaied into caroling door to door was circa 1993, there wasn’t any money begging involved. I imagine we brought tremendous joy into the lives of the people that heard our beautiful music. Who wouldn’t want to open their door to see a gaggle of teens singing out of tune?
I equally imagine that scores more people were touched by the grandeur of the Living Nativity put on by the church I went to that was staged every year in -10 degree weather. I’ve done it all; shepherds, wise men, angels…Sadly my acting career ended after playing Mary, I figured when you’ve reached that level of success that comes from holding a doll and sitting in a fake barn there is really nowhere higher to go. Last weekend I had the pleasure of viewing another Living Nativity put on locally here in NJ, which brought the memories of my glory days flooding back to me.

Wholly Epic, Batman

Last night I watched The Dark Knight on DVD. Now this is only the second time I've seen it - I resisted writing anything about it in July after my first viewing because I wanted to make sure I was commenting on the actual film rather than being swayed by the spectacle of IMAX (which was fantastic by the way).

I'm so happy the Batman franchise has been rescued from the likes of Joel Schumacher. I can't really comment on Batman & Robin as although I've sat down to watch it twice, I've never made it past the 15-minute mark. Its predecessor Batman Forever is poor, although slightly more watchable.

Now this is not to say that the Tim Burton Batman films are flawless. Although I was a huge fan of Batman upon its release in 1989, I can definitely see its weaknesses. In fact, it only has one true disadvantage in that it's a Tim Burton film. Name one of his films that doesn't suffer from style over substance. It's impossible! I can't really remember Batman Returns, although without Jack Nicholson - the true star of Batman - the film struggles with a lack of location shooting (a failing you can forgive the first film for, especially when Nicholson's on screen).

Which brings us to Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. I had avoided the first film at the cinema, based purely on my experiences with Batman & Robin. Although I had seen Memento by this point, the fact that Christopher Nolan would be directing the 5th film didn't exactly have me jumping up and down. How wrong I was! It's nice to be wrong about films every once in a while, as long as they're as good as this. Upon finally watching ...Begins at the cinema (also my first experience of seeing a film in IMAX) I was blown away. Nolan and his screenwriter brother treat the subject matter with a huge amount of respect, something you don't typically get with Hollywood films.

With The Dark Knight, it's been hard to separate the film from the hype - what with Heath Ledger being murdered by one of the Olsen twins and then Christian Bale machine-gunning his family to death - but last night's viewing on the small screen gave me a chance to re-evaluate.

Some say the film is overlong. At 152 minutes, this is always going to be a bone of contention. I reckon it's just the right length. However, I do believe that the film suffers from an odd pacing towards the final half hour. With one denouement after another (rather than interlacing them for dramatic effect a la the George Lucas school of filmmaking), you start to get weary. Aside from this, the film is a prime example of how good Hollywood can make a film, given the right source material and people involved.

Although the supporting cast shined in Batman Begins, here they jostle for attention with a larger cast and a labyrinthine plot. It's a shame Maggie Gyllenhaal didn't get chance to portray Rachel Dawes in the first Nolan film as she's infinitely more watchable than The Cruiser's mind-slave/wife.

Aaron Eckhart is superb as Gotham's District Attorney, overshadowing Bale and Gary Oldman in every scene. It's a shame he'll probably be too old to play Captain America (in the film slated for a 2011 release) as he'd be a perfect fit. Although not playing their full game, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are still a joy to watch, adding a touch of distinction to proceedings and grounding the film from its comic-book excesses.

I once read a story about Heath Ledger introducing himself at a party as 'Keith Fletcher', despite everybody at the party knowing exactly who he was. It's a terrible shame that he died, but his performance in The Dark Knight is a great final piece of work to leave behind (I'm going to conveniently gloss over The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus here as, like Tim Burton's oeuvre, Terry Gilliam's films also leave a sour taste in the mouth).

Yes he's made a few poor choices throughout his career but as the old saying goes, you're only as good as your last painting.

Pub Quiz

So tonight is Pub Quiz night, at out local Oirish pub in Howick. It's strange because despite considering myself to be a pretty intelligent and knowledgeable chap, we keep placing last. At first we only finished second or third to last but in recent weeks we've done nothing better than to finish bottom of the pile completely. Not bad when there's only 2 of us (and most of the other teams are made up of betwen 4 and 6 people).
Now this wouldn't usually bother me but I'm hardly in the most sophisticated country in the world. I reckon blind people and animals visit bookshops more often than the average New Zealander.
The thing that really riles me about the Pub Quiz is that there'll be whole rounds devoted to Sport where everybody will groan because the answer is so easy. "Who wore the number seven jersey for the All Blacks betwen 2002 and 2005?" Cue whole pub groaning (but not groaning loudly enough to give the answer away to us foreign types in their midst).
Other than this, there are so many questions regarding New Zealand, that it makes me think everybody got together in the 1980s for a secret meeting:
"Right, we need to do something about all these immigrants coming over and taking our jobs.."
"What about them winning the pub quizzes all the time?"
"Oh yeah - that too. Bastards."

So every Wednesday I have to humble myself because I don't know who the Coach of the Auckland Warriors is (I think that's a real team, but I'm not sure) or when the Cadbury's Train Robbery advertisment began airing on NZ television.
It's supposed to be General Knowledge but I believe it should be renamed Localised General Knowledge Heavily Biased Towards Sports.

Still, at least we do well in some rounds. We seem to blitz Music, TV & Cinema and Art & Literature every week. The other week the first question in the Music round was:

Who am I? I was born Steven Victor Tallarico in 1948 in Yonkers, New York.

I nearly ejaculated.

As winter approaches

Its half past two in the afternoon at the moment and I think that the sun has already set. I say think, because I never saw the sun today it's been so grey and overcast. And while so far the snow has mostly stayed away, its starting to get cold. But to all you people who keep complaining about the cold in the UK and saying that it must be worse for me - so far it hasn't been. It has been strange reading about Britain freezing while I'm wondering if it might be a bit early to wear a winter coat but eventually I suppose it will be colder here than the UK. It is meant to be minus degrees all this week so that might even have already happened.

Yesterday it was Independence Day. There is a party thrown by the President which the nation watches, although I have to say I don't know why. Essentially, about a million people (it seems, although it might be less than that) walk past the President and shake her hand. It takes about three hours, with a half time break during which they have the news - lead story: party at the presidents palace. By law, all cameras have to be taken out of the room by 10pm so it ends there and everyone settles down to watch the Unknown Soldier. Which is actually quite a good film. I didn't watch it though since I didn't understand what they were saying, but more importantly because Erittäin Salainen was on the other side. Not that I watched that either, in honesty. I went to bed instead.

But I thought that I would get into the spirit of Finnish independence by taking a cheap shot at the Russians. The Prime Minister of Finland, Matti Vanhanen, is a very tall man. Vladimir Putin is a very small man. He's also a very tough man though, so I'm not going to tell him. The two men met at some European summit the other week. The difference in size is quite noticable. He's even shorter than Tarja Halonen, the president. I'd say that it might be because Tarja Halonen is wearing high heels, but he probably is as well.

Vodka Tractors Rock n Roll

I went to see the Leningrad Cowboys on Saturday night. The concert was in a shopping centre in the middle of nowhere (or Lempäälä as it is sometimes called). The Leningrad cowboys themselves are pretty interesting and were being backed by the Red Army Choir. It was interesting to be watching a band standing next to a branch of H&M. The band themselves were pretty good. At least as good as a band doing covers of Sweet Home Alabama and Those Were the Days can be. With very large quiffs.



We queued up in the wrong bus queue afterwards which wouldn't have been so bad except that it was -5 or so, and felt worse because of the wind. It could have been worse too since tonight there is a pretty major snow storm blasting through Tampere. It took me a few beers afterwards to get the blood flowing to some of the areas more affected by the cold - my whole body essentially.

Anyway, the Leningrad Cowboys were from a 1989 film called Leningrad Cowboys Go America. And very good it is too. The follow up film, Leningrad Cowboys Meet Moses, is pretty good too. You should watch them sometime. I think that there are only a few of the original members left now but they are pretty good fun. It says something about Finland that one of the most popular bands here is a made up band with incredibly long quiffs and shoes singing covers of karaoke standards. I'm just not all that sure what it says exactly. All the same, here's a bit from the film.

Now pay attention, 007...

For as long as I can remember, I've always been a Bond fan. It's one of my guilty pleasures - one that has come round full circle now that Bond is considered cool again. So who is the best Bond? The majority would side with Connery, but the question's a no-brainer: the best Bond is the Bond you grew up with. I was born the year between The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, so for me Roger Moore is Bond.

Somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, there's a list of people I have resigned myself to never having the opportunity to meet. These are childhood heroes - mainly from the silver screen - who operate in a different world to my humdrum existence. On this list, quite near the top - if not number one completely - is Roger Moore. Or, Sir Roger Moore, to you. So it was with excitement that this weekend I had the opportunity to meet the great man and get his autograph in a copy of his new book:























After getting rushed through having my book signed, I decided to hang around and soak in the atmosphere. I reckon I could have taken him with a judo chop to the back of the neck here:


















Finally, after his allotted hour was over, I positioned myself in his route out of the store and managed to get a quick handshake:




(A big thankyou goes out to my own Moneypenny for capturing this moment).